I'm making a plan to quit social media
Like many people, I find myself resenting and often even downright hating social media, yet still using it - due to the way it's wormed into almost every aspect of our lives.
But I'm starting to believe it's possible to live without it, and although it may require a period of adjustment, it will make me happier in the long term.
I'm finally, therefore, making a plan to quit.
I actually feel quite angry about the way social media has been designed to hijack my attention and manipulate my emotions for profit. Once I started to see it - I couldn't unsee it.
In the algorithm I'd get shown a post from the wife of my partner's ex-co-worker from a job he worked at 12 years ago. Probably one of the LEAST relevant people on my friends list, someone I hadn't interacted with - ever. BUT... she shared something transphobic and Facebook knew that it would piss me off and make me want to argue with her.
I'm literally being baited into fighting with strangers, for profit.
That's not even touching on how terrifyingly hypnotic it is and how much of a opiate it is for my attention.
I downloaded TikTok once. I blinked and it was 3 hours later. I hadn't moved. I had to physically fling the phone out of my hand to the other side of the couch to stop myself swiping to the next video. I deleted it immediately. I'm the primary breadwinner for our household and if I kept that on my phone we'd surely starve.
Even though I've already made a lot of progress by removing the apps from my phone, using the feed blocker Chrome extension... I still find myself logging in to check something (the time of an event, the name of an acquaintance's spouse) and getting sucked into the vortex.
I'm not alone - and it's not surprising. Enormous amounts of money and brain power have been invested into making these apps as compelling as possible. This is their business model.
I see it everywhere I go - the woman in the changeroom at the gym shivering in a wet towel watching videos on her phone loudly instead of getting dressed. The number of people scrolling in the darkness of the theatre during the Opera I watched last week. The man I saw today whose dog ate an entire chocolate bar off the ground while he scrolled. He didn't even hear me try to tell him. (I really hope that dog's okay...)
I feel kinda sick when I think about how much of my life I've spent mindlessly scrolling, arguing with strangers or hate-reading the most awful, anxiety-inducing content. Then, I feel doubly sick thinking that someone else designed that experience to be that way, so that they could make obscene amounts of money.
Sometimes I feel like I've been in an abusive relationship for years, and I'm finally waking up to the idea that I don't have to let myself be treated in this way. But, like an abusive partner, social media has slowly, insidiously made me hopelessly dependent on it.
Like breaking up with an abusive partner, leaving social media means making a careful escape plan that considers all the changes and adjustments I'll have to make to live without it.
For every purpose I use social media for, there will be a void left behind when it goes. I will need to conciously address that gap with something else that solves that need, or figure out what it means to live without it.
I have a lot of questions to answer, including:
- How will I stay in touch with friends and family?
- What do I do with the 15 years of photos I have on Facebook?
- How do I coordinate social events?
- How do I find out about social/cultural events going on in my area?
- How do I find out about stuff going on in my friend's lives?
- What if someone I haven't seen in a while wants to reach out to me? How will they find me?
- I still kinda want to see the odd funny video, read an interesting story or stumble across a relatable meme... how do I still discover cool stuff?
- A lot of businesses here in Georgia exist mainly on Facebook. If I'm trying to check the opening times or look at the menu of a restaurant, this could be a problem.
- Social media will leave a void - what will I fill that with? (This one is kind of an exciting question... to be honest. There's a lot more meaningful things I can imagine spending my time on.)
By eliminating my access to the feed on my phone, I've already noticed that I'm weaning myself out of the knee-jerk impulse to grab my phone and seek out entertainment whenever I'm slightly tired, bored or want to escape my own head for a moment.
At Cal Newport writes about in Digital Minimalism, getting used to these little moments of boredom is not a bad thing. In fact, it's going to be VERY good for my brain in the long term.
There's a lot to consider and more research to be done - but I do believe it's possible.
In fact, by replacing these aspects of my life with their non-social-media counterparts (such as sending out a regular long-form email update to friends instead of posting, or scheduling more in-person social time, or carrying a book around with me for when I'm bored waiting for the bus), I think it might encourage me to slow down and make things more deliberate and meaningful.
So, not just possible but I believe it could actually be really wonderful. :)